Monday, February 27, 2006

COMING SOON

We're hoping to produce as a regular treat for readers certain [not particularly] exclusive extracts from the secret undercover diary of Special Agent Myers; a chronicle of derring-do and heroic exploits detailing our hero's efforts to track down and destroy his Arch-Nemesis, BASTARD BABY. Here's an appetite whetting sample of the hard-bitten prose our cherished band of dedicated fans can expect!

Babies are not merely filthy, incredibly noisy nuisances who require constant attention, [they] are monomaniacally selfish and thoroughly unreliable.*

In our next installment, Myers vows "I'll get you Bastard Baby, you unreliable bastard. I'll get you if it's the last thing I ever do!"

*From "Unmarried Mothers" pg 192 of Kevin Myers (Four Courts Press, Dublin 2000) and reprinted from An Irishman's Diary, The Irish Times, December 1994.

8 Comments:

Blogger fústar said...

Col. Myers wrote the bulk of this diary (during full moons) while sitting naked at his desk - with eyes rolling back in his head and foam cascading from the side of his mouth.

He'd often awake, drained and terrified in the morning to find a freshly minted chapter awaited him – one he had no memory of writing.

At such times he'd curl up in the corner of the study and place a bowl of hot tea in front of him on the floor.

This he'd lap, pathetically, until the fear subsided.

Poor Col. Myers...

11:26 p.m.  
Blogger Suzy said...

hmmm I have to say I am in two minds about this one (myerswatch)- I think he is the kind of eejit who'd love it yet I hate to let him get away with it. am known to have the odd rant myself (Kevin Myers Porn Collection watch)

12:47 a.m.  
Blogger Copernicus said...

Don't worry suzy, we are in at least four minds about it. I also imagine we are well below Mr. Myers' Celbridge radar.

9:30 a.m.  
Blogger fústar said...

If, by some fluke, he ever comes across this Suzy, he'll doubtless interpret it as the work of techno-pagan, feminist, tree-huggers that want to burn him in a giant wicker boob.

11:58 a.m.  
Blogger Suzy said...

Not just feminist but feminazi!

9:52 p.m.  
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