Monday, February 27, 2006


We're hoping to produce as a regular treat for readers certain [not particularly] exclusive extracts from the secret undercover diary of Special Agent Myers; a chronicle of derring-do and heroic exploits detailing our hero's efforts to track down and destroy his Arch-Nemesis, BASTARD BABY. Here's an appetite whetting sample of the hard-bitten prose our cherished band of dedicated fans can expect!

Babies are not merely filthy, incredibly noisy nuisances who require constant attention, [they] are monomaniacally selfish and thoroughly unreliable.*

In our next installment, Myers vows "I'll get you Bastard Baby, you unreliable bastard. I'll get you if it's the last thing I ever do!"

*From "Unmarried Mothers" pg 192 of Kevin Myers (Four Courts Press, Dublin 2000) and reprinted from An Irishman's Diary, The Irish Times, December 1994.


Blogger fústar said...

Col. Myers wrote the bulk of this diary (during full moons) while sitting naked at his desk - with eyes rolling back in his head and foam cascading from the side of his mouth.

He'd often awake, drained and terrified in the morning to find a freshly minted chapter awaited him – one he had no memory of writing.

At such times he'd curl up in the corner of the study and place a bowl of hot tea in front of him on the floor.

This he'd lap, pathetically, until the fear subsided.

Poor Col. Myers...

11:26 p.m.  
Blogger Suzy said...

hmmm I have to say I am in two minds about this one (myerswatch)- I think he is the kind of eejit who'd love it yet I hate to let him get away with it. am known to have the odd rant myself (Kevin Myers Porn Collection watch)

12:47 a.m.  
Blogger Copernicus said...

Don't worry suzy, we are in at least four minds about it. I also imagine we are well below Mr. Myers' Celbridge radar.

9:30 a.m.  
Blogger fústar said...

If, by some fluke, he ever comes across this Suzy, he'll doubtless interpret it as the work of techno-pagan, feminist, tree-huggers that want to burn him in a giant wicker boob.

11:58 a.m.  
Blogger Suzy said...

Not just feminist but feminazi!

9:52 p.m.  
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